Family meals. We all know the pleasure, and difficulties of gathering the family around the table. One struggle that I know all too well is trying to get the kids to help out. Dinner time always creeps up on us, sneaking in after homework and before baths. There’s so much to do, and having young children underfoot only makes it more challenging.
The impact that chores have on children is well documented. Unfortunately, lessening the work of the adults in the family isn’t one of them. Instead, chores teach children responsibility, give them a sense of accomplishment and set them up to be successful adults.
How It Works:
How it works
Be Realistic
The most important part of having young children participate in household duties is to let go of perfect. Your dinner table might not be ready for a spread in Home and Garden magazine. You may need to vacuum over the floor to catch those elusive crumbs. It may take 10 minutes for a 6 year old to accomplish a task that you can complete in 1. Just take a deep breath and let go. Alternatively, find something else to do yourself.
Keep it Appropriate
The second task is to make sure that the jobs assigned to children are age appropriate. The 4 year old isn’t carrying a heavy pot of pasta. She can carry a bowl of salad. Keep your expectations high. If your 3 year old is capable of setting the table correctly, then expect that he does so. Being young isn’t an excuse. You can always do a demonstration and then patiently explain that all the place settings need to look like the example.
Celebrate your Success!
And reward a job well done. In our family, each member of the family gets a before and an after dinner job. When a person completes their job (correctly) we get a check. When the family reaches 20 checks, we celebrate together. This could be a trip to the ice cream store, or family movie night. The important thing is that no one is punished for not doing a chore. They simply aren’t rewarded. And it takes us longer to get to our prize.
What you Need:
Supply List
The good news is that you really don’t need very much.
- 3×5 in index cards
- envelopes
- poster board/white board for tracking progress
Planning
This is the harder part! In order for this to work, you’ll need to break down setting the table/clearing the table into many tiny tasks. At least 1 for each member of the family. Although this will vary based on each family’s needs, you can take a look at our jobs
Here’s a list to help you get started:
Table Setting Jobs:
- Putting out plates
- Folding napkins
- Bringing water to the table
- Putting out placemats/tablecloth
- Setting out utensils
- Carrying platters to the table
- Filling water glasses
Table Clearing Jobs:
- Clearing plates
- Putting utensils in the dishwasher/sink
- Gathering up dirty linens/papers
- Sweeping
- Wiping down chairs
- Gathering up cups
How to do it (Step by Step)
First, select the jobs for your family.
Then we made our envelopes. I wrote the names and everyone got a chance to decorate.
Then, each morning (so I don’t forget) I put a pre and 1 post dinner job card in each envelope. When it’s dinner time we all get our envelopes and complete our assigned jobs. (Bringing dinner to the table always goes to an adult. Clearing the table always goes to my husband, because I can’t even).
And that’s it. There’s no cajoling, or reminding. We simply do (or don’t do) our jobs. The kids are allowed to trade. For every job we do, we get 1 check. If everyone does their jobs, then we get 10 points. If not, then it takes us longer to reach our reward.
Conclusion
Even if you’ve tried chore charts in the past, this method works! Because you make table setting a family affair. Yes, it may take some time for the kids to catch on, but it’s worth it. And don’t forget to celebrate!
