Why Family Meals are So Important
September is family meal month. It’s time to celebrate and appreciate all the wonderful benefit of eating together as a family. It’s also time to discuss the many many challenges of meals with young children. Just like all good things, family meals take a lot of planning and patience. But the benefits of eating together are well-documented and cover a variety of areas, from academics to health.
Nutrition
This seems like the most obvious place to start. Families who eat meals together tend to be healthier. Kids who eat with their parents eat more fruits and vegetables than those who do not. Children who eat with their families are less likely to be overweight. But you don’t need to eat together every day. In fact, children who eat family meals 3 times a week already display the health and nutrition benefits.
So you want your kids to eat their veggies? The easiest solution is to eat together. Picky eaters, in fact, benefit a lot from seeing the adults around them model healthy eating. One of the best things we can do, as parents, in order to teach our kids how to eat healthy meals is to eat together. This means everyone, in the same place, eating the same meals.
Academics
Who would’ve thought, but kids who eat family dinners, do better in school. Kids who regularly eat family meals spend more time on homework and more time reading. That translates into better grades. Even kids who are too young for school benefit from eating as a family. They’re exposed to more words, which means bigger vocabularies.
Social Skills
It’s true. Even young children who frequently eat meals with their families have more social skills. They are also less likely to to develop problematic social behavior. You can see this in older kids, who are less likely to engage in risky behavior. You may not see this as directly in younger kids. It’s interesting to note that the studies don’t show a difference in parental aggravation! Basically, your kids will drive you crazy whether or not you all eat dinner together eat night. Apparently it’s easier to keep teens away from alcohol than to get your 5 year old to stop jumping on the couch.
Family Bonding
Family meals help create family memories. And it’s not just for holiday. Adults who have fond memories of family meals are more likely to continue the tradition with their children. Many parents carry on the tradition of family meals in order to build a strong relationship with their kids.
Eating together as a family helps keep the family unit tight. This results in kids who are more focused in school and less likely to get in trouble. It’s also a great time and place to come together as a family and reconnect after a long, busy day.
But how do you do it? We asked and busy parents shared their best tips for making family dinners work for them.
1. It doesn't need to be everyday
Marci, the creator of QD Foodie, and a mother of 1 suggests cutting ourselves a little slack.
“With our busy schedules, as is the (non-pandemic) way of life these days, family meals just don’t happen always. More often than not, but not every day. That was hard for me to accept, especially because I have such positive memories of the experience. I think that makes me appreciate the days that we do cook and eat all together even more. “
2. Put Away the Screens
“One difficulty for the kids is staying at the table for the entire meal. They don’t have to eat, if they choose not to, but they need to sit with us. So that’s hard for them. They hear the iPad and they want to answer every ping. But the rule at our house is that we all sit together throughout the meal.” – Michael, father of 2
“We also don’t allow phones or toys at the table. Not having my phone helps me enjoy our dinner together. I struggle sometimes to put everything aside and focus on the kids. There’s always so much going on, and so much to think about. But not having my phone is one way that I help myself pay attention at dinner.” – Eli, father of 3.
“My rule is no phones or reading at the table. Even if we’re not chatty, it’s a break from the day and time to be in each other’s company. I do my best to channel the happy, simple spirit of my parents’ family meals, because I want to pass it along to future generations.” – Marci
3. Let go of the Guilt
Rebecca has mastered the art of juggling her career, her life and her two young kids.
“Dinner doesn’t need to be fancy. You can have all of the food groups represented, and eat a healthy, well-balanced meal, without cooking for hours. I always make sure I have things that are easy. I keep frozen foods as a back up always. I have plenty of fruit. And then I get ingredients so I’m ready to throw together a quick meal. The timer for dinner prep starts as soon as we come home, so I became a master of simple, easy meals.”
Eli also refuses to feel guilty about feeding his kids.
“I always try to make as much as possible from scratch, but when I can’t then I don’t. I don’t feel guilty about it either. It’s about balance and making it work. So when I need to rely on convenience food, I do. I don’t believe that every part of a meal needs to be homemade from scratch in order for it to be healthy.”
4. Plan Ahead
“Finding the time to cook and finding something that everyone eats are my two biggest struggles. Sometimes I’ll cook a large meal and serve leftovers. I have a tentative plan for meals for the week, so I don’t have to start from scratch of coming up with a menu each night, but I’ll adjust my plan based on what’s in my fridge.” -Sarah, mother of 2.
“Plan ahead! I make a monthly schedule, but every day of the week I make the same thing. For example, Monday might be “hot dog night”. So every Monday for the month we have hot dogs for dinner. Then I switch it up for the next month. That way no one gets too bored of any meal.” – Kelila, homeschooling mom of 3
5. Do it with Love
“I can show my family how important they are by throwing something together and relishing the chance to sit with them. Instead of making myself crazy trying to cook with love, we eat with love.” – Rebecca
“We really love talking to our kids about food. So eating together gives us the perfect place to do that. We can discuss how things taste, or how they’re prepared. Our kids really have a deep appreciation and respect for food. That’s something they learned by eating with us.” -Michael
6. Use Dinner to Introduce New Foods
“My kids are pretty good eaters, but sometimes there’s something they just won’t eat. So I usually try to introduce new foods on Sunday, when it’s a little more relaxed. Then I can remind them that they’ve had this food before and liked it. That usually works for us.” -Kelila
“I also take input from them on what they want to eat. Or I’ll offer choices so they can have some say in the menu. I definitely try to avoid taking them grocery shopping with me. But I like to try new foods, so there are always new foods on the table.” – Sarah
7. Get Everyone Involved
“Making dinner is definitely a family affair. If I do the cooking, then my husband does the cleaning. We share the cooking responsibility. The kids also set the table. I let them pick their own plates and forks. It’s not about everything matching. It’s about everyone being comfortable.” -Kelila
“Cooking itself is a life skill. It’s important to get the kids comfortable in the kitchen. But what if the kids are not interested in cooking, togetherness, or eating, when time is already limited? As tough as it can be, I say stick it out. ” -Marci
“Sometimes I let them help in the kitchen. If I’m baking, then I’ll measure and they can pour. They like to mix things, or cut vegetables. If I’m busy, then I’ll have them set the table. Which can take 10 minutes when you’re 6.” – Sarah
“I also take my kids on my weekly shopping trips. This lets them have input into what we’re eating, with my approval of course.” – Rebecca
